I am in awe of the difference a life on yoga, meditation, and Reiki makes. I recently faced a tremendous loss when my beloved soul dog, Peso, died after a 7 month journey with cancer. Five years ago, shortly after Peso was born, I lost something I thought I couldn’t live without and I fell into a pit of inconsolable despair. Peso landed on my heart, healed my life, and taught me what love IS. Losing the physical form of him, my most precious thing, has been the most heart wrenching challenge I have ever faced — but it is an entirely different experience of loss this time around. This time I have all of my daily practices and I have all of the lessons Peso taught me living in my heart.
I committed myself to fierce presence throughout the WHOLE journey of cancer AND death AND grief. My unending, on-repeat mantra has been I WILL NOT CLOSE MY HEART TO THIS. Any of it.
I think there is a reason why we have flowers around when someone dies, I think they are meant to usher in the sacred and ESSENTIAL process of grief — because there has been something really special about how the flowers have changed and opened. As I have changed. And OPENED.
I know the feeling of losing a piece of your heart when you lose something you love. But I can honestly say that is not how I feel — In fact, I’VE NEVER FELT SO WHOLE. I have finally opened myself to loss. I am heartbroken, but most certainly broken OPEN.
I have learned as much through Peso’s death as I learned during his life — which is no little thing for me to say. The meaning and beauty have illuminated a life-changing awareness of what I AM.
And all of this leaves me feeling like I am sitting on a secret:
JUST LET LIFE OPEN YOU.
When something is hard and you start to close or disconnect — just open instead.
Just tell yourself “I WILL OPEN TO THIS.” Even this, and even this, and even THIS.
Trust me. IT’S WORTH IT. And very freeing.
I am very thankful for everyone who has been a part of lifting me up and holding me in grace these last weeks. I have been surrounded by a tremendous amount of support.
I am well, and inspired, and CREATING. I am looking forward to the big change in my work that is coming soon, the timing of which I know is no accident. As I step into expanding the impact of my service and sharing my gifts from my essence and with my WHOLE HEART, I can see that it would not be possible without first learning how to OPEN, how to BE open and how to STAY open — NO MATTER WHAT. I am exactly where I am meant to be, so obviously supported, and my sweet P continues to teach me and teach me and teach me.
What is life asking YOU to open to??